February 2017

How to Discuss Estate Planning with Your Family

Death and money are among the two most difficult subjects to talk about. So it is no surprise that combining them both into a discussion with loved ones about estate planning can be incredibly uncomfortable.

With that in mind, we at PJI Law recommend that families have an open dialogue among themselves about estate planning. Estate planning is not only for the elderly or the wealthy. Parents with young children need estate plans to ensure their children are provided for physically and financially. Children over the age of 18 need estate planning documents so that their family can help them manage their finances or make medical decisions in case of an injury or sudden disability. Older adults need them so that their loved ones have peace of mind and are not left guessing about last wishes, or even worse, litigating them. These discussions don’t have to be negative, since they stem from loving, caring for, and planning for our families. In fact, creating an estate plan is a very empowering experience for many people.

Estate planning isn't only for the elderly - all families must do it.
Estate planning isn’t only for the elderly – all families must do it.                                                                        

When looking to approach family members about estate plans, particularly if you have found it difficult to do so thus far, we recommend the following tips:

  • Talk about your own estate plan and goals. If your loved ones know you have taken these steps for yourself, they may be more receptive to the suggestion that they do the same.
  • Keep a tone of respect. The person you are talking to is an adult (whether it is someone younger or older than you). People are more engaged when they feel that they are an integral part of the discussion.
  • Be direct and communicate your position.
  • Make sure you focus on the positive aspect of being in the driver’s seat and making the decisions for yourself while you can.
  • Don’t nag. Simply plant the seed and water it from time to time.
  • Voice your opinions and concerns using “I” statements.
  • Don’t blame or use “You” statements.
  • Be mindful that it may take some time and many conversations for there to be progress.

At PJI Law, it is our goal to give our clients the education and tools they need to take control of their futures and to plan for their loved ones. If you are one of the many Virginians without estate planning documents (including a Last Will and Testament, a Living Will, a Financial Power of Attorney, and any necessary trusts), we are ready to help you take the first step in ensuring your loved ones are cared for. Please call us to schedule a time to meet with one of our attorneys to discuss the next steps.

Adultery Is Still a Crime in Virginia – And Many Plead the Fifth

Although it is extremely rarely prosecuted, adultery has long been a crime under Virginia law, specifically a Class 4 misdemeanor. And only a few days ago, the legislature reaffirmed this fact by rejecting an effort to decriminalize it. Although on its face this law seems to discourage people from engaging in marital affairs, in many ways it actually protects such adulterous activity in divorce proceedings.

Here’s why: In Virginia, a spouse can seek divorce on the grounds of adultery, which if proven, could result in significant financial gain for that spouse when the court distributes marital property and considers spousal support. With that said, it is very difficult to prove adultery, and as such, one of the best ways to do so would be to get the allegedly adulterous spouse to admit to it in court.

In Maryland, adultery is also a misdemeanor, but punishable by a $10 fine.
In neighboring Maryland, adultery is a misdemeanor punishable by a $10 fine.                                               

However, via the Fifth Amendment of the United States Constitution, Americans are protected from self-incrimination in criminal matters. And since adultery is a crime, the spouse being questioned about cheating can plead the Fifth, which allows them to avoid discussing the matter in divorce proceedings. From one perspective, this provides important protection to the spouse being questioned, and from the other perspective, the criminality of adultery actually only serves to reward a cheating spouse during divorce proceedings. It further causes the other spouse to expend much more in legal fees and expenses in order to try to prove adultery in other ways, such as by hiring private investigators, digging up hotel records and combing through Facebook.

We at PJI Law have been on both sides of such cases and as always, we watch legislative developments closely in order to provide our clients with the best possible representation. Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any further questions on how this issue might affect your marriage or divorce.